For Pete's Sake...

(from Facebook note dated 01-Apr-2009)

I was in a coffeehouse earlier today and was just finishing up a meeting with a new friend (I had a great time). I noticed the time and realized I was running a bit late for my next meeting, so I was quickly packing up and getting ready to go. Along comes “Ted.”

He was at the coffeehouse before I arrived and looked like a “regular” to me. Apparently he had heard what we were talking about (ministry, church, church planting, small groups, mission, people, challenges, etc.). He came right over and said “I think faith is…” “And I think religion is…” and went on to explain his views, all firmly rooted and grounded in his own erroneous epistemology.

I don’t think I waited a half-second for him to finish when I responded by saying, “Hmm. Well I actually think the exact opposite of that…” and went on to state my position (I even through in a Bible reference or two…real snazzy-like). He seemed a bit taken aback by what I said - even made a motion with his body as if I had gut-punched him or something. I thought my response was biblically sound. No, I knew my response was biblically sound, and I was pretty happy about that. At the close of my rebuttal, I looked down towards my friend and said “What do you think?”

His reply was not to me, but to Ted, and was simply and humbly, “Hmm…why do you ask?”

I bid my farewell, invited Ted to sit and chat with my friend since I had to go (as if he needed my invite to do that), and then hit the road.

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I took one step away from there and started rationalizing with myself (rationalize = rational lies). I told myself the only reason I responded like that was because I was in a rush and had to give an answer to what was being said. After all, I couldn’t let the faith be misrepresented like that. No sir! Not in my hearing! Not on my watch! If I had more time, I would’ve taken a different approach, but hey. I did what I had to do.

I told myself that in the 12 seconds it took me to walk from the coffeehouse to my car. By the time I had the key in the ignition, I knew I was lying to myself and was deeply convicted.

My friend had taken the approach that this was a human being (imagine that), one that needed to be heard, understood, and loved…not instantly refuted.

My friend took an approach to understand why he said what he said.

My friend was interested in who this man was.

My friend was interested in what was behind the words he said, not just the words.

I still haven’t spoken with him about the outcome of his conversation, but his humble approach was an infinitely better representation of Jesus than my smooth words, arrogant orthodoxy, and bold approach, all of which I had at the ready in my hip pocket.

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Some may tell me I’m blowing this out of proportion, being too hard on myself, and should really lighten up. I appreciate your love for me in saying that, but still choose to go with the clear, subjective, in-the-moment conviction that came from none other than God the Holy Spirit who lives within me and all believers. Simply put, I lacked love.

Paul tells us in 1 Cor. 13:1-3ff that if we lack love, we have nothing. If efficacy for the Gospel was tallied on a scoreboard, my words, my knowledge, my proper exegesis, my hermeneutic, all would’ve amounted to a collective zero. Worse, whatever impression I left with Ted of Christians, ministers, the Gospel, the Bible, etc., may move that score from a zero down to the negative side of the chart.

This was something I struggled with several years ago, especially early on as a pastor. I started in full-time ministry when I was 22-years-old. Looking back, I think I felt the need to compensate for my lack of experience by flaunting my credentials of personal study, knowledge of issues, doctrinal stances, all that jazz. I wouldn’t have said that at the time. I would’ve said I was just answering a question, speaking to an issue, “…rightly dividing the Word” (2 Tim. 2:15), “giving an answer for the faith that was in me” (1 Pet. 3:15b), completely ignoring the latter part of that verse which says to do so with “meekness and fear” (1 Pet. 3:15c).

In God’s kindness, He brought this to my attention one day while reading through Proverbs 18 (a great chapter on listening - 18:13,15,17), particularly in verse 13 where we’re told that if we answer without listening, we’re a fool. I constantly meditated on that verse, prayed through that verse, and made it my mantra at that time in my life. God really grew me and today, I can humbly say I’m definitely better than I was 8-10 years ago. Still, I was gently reminded today that I still have not arrived.

I’ll be reading through Proverbs 18 and other such relevant passages in the days to come, and perhaps posting more on this as time allows.

Praise God that justification is not a process, and sanctification is!

Grace & peace,

Peter